Browse Author: Lewis Hale

How to make the most of your blind date

couple enjoying a first date in a cafe

Blind dates can be a nerve-racking experience. In today’s world of internet dating and tinder, it is often rare to date someone without knowing at least a small amount of info about them and having access to photos that show you exactly what they look like. However, blind dates can still happen and when they do it is no less nerve-racking than it used to be. Here are a few blind date tips to make sure your experience goes as well as possible.

Skip a formal dinner

Going to a fancy dinner can put undue pressure on both parties. Try to avoid this scenario by suggesting a date be held at a less formal venue such as a café or pizzeria.

Be yourself but don’t reveal too much

While you should not create a fake persona, a blind first date is not the place to reveal all your secrets and fears. You should display the best version of yourself, one that will make you desirable and attractive to the other party but not one that will reveal too much. That kind of stuff can wait until your second date.

Bring a gift

One great way to break the ice and gain a bit of trust while putting your partner at ease is to bring a small gift. Something like a small soft toy, or a bunch of flowers, or a book is a great way to ease the nerves and gives you a conversation starter.

Don’t stress out over gaps in conversation

It is a natural reaction to try and fill a gap in conversation as soon as it occurs. Often doing so will not add anything of substance to the conversation. It is perfectly fine to have a few gaps in conversation. This is a blind date with a stranger, both parties understand you’ll not be talking constantly for the entire time. Don’t embarrass yourself by rushing to fill the silence with something silly.

woman leans in for kiss and is rejected by man

Avoid these first date pitfalls

Having landed that first date, for a lot of us the anxiety only starts to begin. To alleviate the stress somewhat, here are some handy tips to follow to ensure the first date is as comfortable and successful as possible.

1.      Be punctual

Nothing sets the tone for a less than impressive night than a date who can’t be bothered to show up on time. Avoid this pitfall by planning and committing to arriving early. You never know what delays life can throw in your way, so prepare for something to trip you up and you’ll be fashionably early.

2.      Don’t just let them talk

couple talking on a date

A common misnomer, it is a very silly idea to commit to just listening and steering the conversation back to your date over the course of the evening. This will simply make it look like you have nothing interesting to talk about and will not leave a lasting impression on your date.

3.      Leave the politics out of it

 politicians in a cartoon debate

When you do decide to converse make sure that you leave any political views and beliefs at home with the dog. The first date is not the time to delve deep into your political opinions. Firstly, it can be a boring topic of conversation for somebody who does not share similar interests in the political landscape. Secondly, it can be confrontational and cause arguments if your date does not share the same opinion. Save it for a later date,

4.      Talking about failed relationships

Do not, I repeat do not, talk about past relationship failures. This is not a counseling session and you are not looking for sympathy. You want to put your best foot forward and convey a confident person. Sure, this topic will arise at some stage during the dating courtship but keep night one about topics relating to you and your current company.

5.      Don’t expect a kiss

woman leans in for kiss and is rejected by man

There is every likelihood that the date might end up with a kiss but avoid angling for one. If it happens you want it to happen naturally. Don’t set up the scenario whereby your date will feel obliged to lean in. There is nothing wrong with a date that ends without you and your partner kissing on the first date. There is plenty of time to lock lips at a later stage if the situation doesn’t evolve naturally.

6.      Don’t be aggressive in your follow-up

 man texting woman from back of a taxi cab

It is natural to want to immediately schedule in another date, but you also want to give your date a bit of space before doing this. The last thing you want is for your date to feel pressured into committing to a second meet. A person who is confident yet okay with nothing happening is sexy, so try giving your date a bit of space prior to re-engaging. Don’t call or text in the cab ride home. Please.

Tips for men wanting first date success

shy man and woman on date

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For men, when it comes to setting out on your first date, it is normal to be nervous and apprehensive yet excited at the same time. Such conflicting emotions as you try and identify what women want in a man can often lead to a date that you’ll quickly want to forget! Below are some tips we have devised to ensure your first date is a roaring success:

Be Yourself

 

While it may be tempting to present a ‘better’ version of yourself when arriving on a first date it is far more relaxing and less stressful to just be yourself. Besides, if the date is going to move forward into a second or third isn’t it going to get tiring to keep trying to ‘up your game’? Plus, showing your real self will leave you in no doubt that she truly likes you for who you are if it does reach the 2nd date stage.

 

Leave yourself plenty of time

 

Nothing leads to increased stress and an uncomfortable dating experience more than arriving late. Often not the intention, there are always some hidden variables that can get in the way of a prompt arrival. Whether stuck in traffic, late leaving work or another reason, even with the best intentions you can get held up. Therefore, eliminate the risks by ensuring you arrive at least 15-30 minutes early and that way you’ll have some wiggle room.

Avoid the mundane

 

One great way to leave a lasting impression and to ensure that you won’t be overly nervous is to do something unique and enjoyable. For example, a joint kayak date on a river will be something fresh and enjoyable that will involve team-work, being active and soaking in the sun. This will not only avoid a more stressful and dull environment such as a restaurant but will also enable you to get more of an insight into your date’s energy levels and personality.

Try an earlier dating time

 

Whilst often dates take place in the evening, an afternoon or lunchtime date can have some hidden benefits that will reduce stress and anxiety. An evening meetup may raise the thought in her head “Is he going to ask me to come home with him?” which can add another layer of pressure that a first date does not need. By meeting earlier, not only do you both have the whole day ahead of you if the chemistry is present, but you’ll also avoid any end-of-date awkward cognitive thought processes that may arise.

What do you think? Will you apply these ideas when on your next first date? Have you any other ideas on ways to make the first date experience less stressful? Let us know!

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